orange juice can't cure everything

Ocasionally I get a hungry urge to walk out into a dark field and let out a great, loud, brain-curdling scream. The pressure's building up inside and there isn't a drainage pipe. What an awkward display. I think I will save it for when I am eighty years old, and have no dignity left to lose. Right now I'm supposed to be looking forward to the rest of my bright young life.

It's a sad thing to know that my internal machinery is less sophisticated than the neighbourhood drainage system.

tread softly because you tread on my dreams

That last comment on being in charge of my finances is a sham. To Grace I owe the intelligence. The moment I heard that the platinum edition of the LOTR ext ed DVDs were out in Gramophone I rushed out and bought it. So now I am $125.95 lighter but a very happy person indeed, for It is my preciousssss.

I will wait to watch it -- ALL of it -- in June. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

of little glands about the sub-cutaneous layer

I seem at last to be back in charge of my finances, and am now the proud owner of a ninja t-shirt.

This week was spent in transfixed contemplation of the crud that can come out of my nose. My mum magically poduces pore-stripping facilities on demand and the sight of your own oily residue standing in stiff peaks on the sticky paper is not for the faint-hearted. This obsessive fascination, however, is not in the least morbid. I simply cannot come to terms with that these awful substances had been growing in the fleshly cavities of my nose. Yuck!

Thou unhygenic blackheads, feel my belated wrath at last.