teachers' day pilgrimages

Today Cheryl gave me a can of canned air. The label says that it is authentic Mt Fuji 'fresh' air. Cheryl advises me that the air inside the can smells rather tinny and that it is not quite worth it to actually open the can. The can itself is rather pretty, and a worthy exchange for a Death Note. : )

Revisiting your alma mater is affirming and annoying at the same time, because while it confirms that your troubled adolescence wasn't just a figment of your imagination, it also drives in the paradoxes of change and inertia. You've changed, the school has changed, the teachers have changed, but we're forced to communicate on a level of stagnancy based on what happened years ago.

DHS people, however, are as nice as ever. I was running about looking for Ms Devi and a netball player was kind enough to go out her way to tell me that she was probably in the staff room. Of all the teachers I met, though, I sort of slid past 杨老师, and I completely ignored Ann Ang. Brr. Shu Yuen was nowhere to be seen, but by all reports she looked 'dead'. Mr Ng's promotion probably galls her sadly.

Mr Kiw is hale, healthy and as hawkish as ever. When I bumped into him during my quest for Ms Devi he took a quick look at my attire and said, '还不错，挺像样的哦！'

The DHS temporary campus is situated within walking distance of Ghim Moh hawker center. They are unbelievably lucky. The makan there is fantastic.

The uncle at the drinks stall is still there. He has been there ever since DHS was born, over 50 years ago. His son was manning the place when we went to buy drinks. DHS has a tradition so traditional that it is unbelievable.

study break.

Being at home makes me feel sleepy and comfortable. Unfortunately it's the only place with a good computer that's accessible to me. Worst is that this good computer is in the same room as my bed.

Getting started is always annoying.

oh my gods!

BOOK VOUCHER WINDFALL!!!!!

shrimp paste

You know those frid snacks that look like tiny little spring rolls, but are really stuffed with fiery shrimp paste? You know them, right? Well they taste absolutely FANTASTIC eaten with kiwi.

Absolutely FANTASTIC.

...

I don't know what to say.

wolves

I will risk my priceless middle-class existence when the time comes. Perhaps when I am old and useless to it; certainly by then it should be useless to me. All expectations are over when you have grown old.

SATs was expensive.

I signed up for SATs today! After a whole life of essay-writing and two years of absence from the sciences I CANNOT BELIEVE I am facing an MCQ exam. This is going to be a damn breeze after my A level torture. And after having looked at the sample questions for the subjects I'm taking along with the SAT I papers, I had better damn well ace the shit or I swear I'll eat my toenail shavings. I mean, I could answer most of the Bio paper sample questions and I haven't so much looked at curricular Bio since the O LEVELS.

This is a reactive mechanism I'm going to put into place because I'm so freaking scared of what will happen to me if I screw up this year on a level I mostly ignore, but nevertheless seeps into my conscious existence in evil ways. I refuse to underestimate an exam, but I'm having difficulty NOT overestimating this one. In any case, I'll have two weeks or so after Prelims to get ready for SAT I, and about a week (give or take a few paper-burning sprees at the class chalet after the last paper) after the A levels to prepare for my SATs II. Compared to the rigours of everyday life as a J2 student in A-level panic, lots of time.

In the meantime, I'm still freaking terrified for myself at the A levels even though I'm doing everything I can to change that. On the other hand I'm serenely confident. One doesn't need academic credentials to draw good comics. And for the first time in my damn life, I got a 20/25 for a History SBQ.

four days of anime and hermitting

It's been four days now that I've stayed at home to (mostly) study. It feels good not to have had to navigate people as if they were vietnamese minefields. Well, there's my father, but after close to eighteen years yelling at each other we've learnt how to communicate past the mutual thorniness. The best thing is that I think we both know that, at the most fundamental level, we can trust each other.

The air-con isn't working properly. It emits a horrible continuous vibrating noise that makes it impossible for me to think, much less sleep. I hate loud continuous vibrating noises even more than I hate being too hot or too cold. Sleeping without air-con is proving to be quite nice actually, apart from the mosquitoes, and maybe it'll help save 1/36ths of a tree by the time the repairman comes on monday.

I didn't study ALL the time. In fact, I've finished watching all 24 episodes of Fate/Stay Night. It started slow but all of it was interesting, and I like all the characters except Ilya (and Gilgamesh, but that's because I felt like kicking him in the face, not because I had problems with how he was made). Some small plot-strings were left dangling, probably to keep the story tight around the main characters -- but also probably to keep the show PG. (Sakura's backstory is very horrifying and it's not likely going to make it past even online censorship in an anime.) The ending made my heart ache. I like happy endings, and this was only SORT OF happy. But it was also the most elegantly powerful ending I have ever seen.*

The battle scenes were fantastic.

My brother's flying off to New York tomorrow. I won't see his hammer-shaped chin any more after that until about next year. The thought is slightly dislocating.


*Note: I meant what I said by 'elegantly powerful'. Nothing has moved me quite so much for some time. Not even, to my everlasting horror, King Lear. (Partially because of bloody Cordelia, who was horribly portrayed, but that is another story.) The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi's ending was definitely elegant, definitely more technically so than that of Fate/Stay Night: seamlessly tied in, suitably climatic, epic in force and resolution -- but in the optimistic kind of epic way. The element of tragedy was just missing (it wasn't MEANT to be there in the first place). On the other hand, what Fate/Stay Night had going for it was dignity and death, which shook my deepest heart to its core, and anyone who reads this now can probably tell that I'm a closet romantic. There goes my image, sigh.

I can't please everyone and by heck I'm going to stop trying.

Deal with it.

parentally-approved absence

I ponned school for the first time in my life... yesterday.

It feels good.